| This is indeed an interesting topic in several ways. Firstly from a Western female perspective - many of us in China are also rather successful and well educated people - just like the male expats. We work hard and have grand visions that push us to move overseas to places like China, seeking many things... This often challenges men in Western countries, and I see no reason why it would not be challenging to Chinese men as well. As we have ventured outside of our own countries, we are by default rather independent and assertive females. When I lived in Taiwan I often heard of Taiwanese men who would travel abroad to find wives that would be more 'traditional' in the sense that they would be submissive to the man - ie. generally less educated, more willing to put up with being controlled by a man, loyal without question or expectation of the husbands fidelity and obedient to both the man and his family... These wives (which make up one fifth of marriages in Taiwan) are from mainland China, the Philippines, Indonesia, Malaysia, Thailand. These men either did not want, or felt they could not get (ie the women did not want them) - a more modern, and rather educated Taiwanese wife. Anyone seem the Bollywood movie "Bride and Prejudice"? There is an Indian man who has "made it" in the USA, but comes back to India to find a 'traditional wife', largely because he has no intention of treating them with the respect and allowing them the independence that women (even Indian migrant women) have in the USa. This happens all around the world in many migrant groups - move to a more liberal society, enjoy the lifestyle - return to conservative homeland where women will think you are great, are less educated then you and will therefore be content with you (the man) and less of a challenge to you. And often also are excited by the prospect of moving overseas. Meanwhile with the Chinese female - Western male combination, you have a generally more submissive female with a person who perhaps is not interested (for whatever reasons) in being attracted to more assertive and in control women. This can and does indeed cross genders, but it is interesting again as the gender roles are blurred when dealing with same sex relationship. I for one had a Singaporean girlfriend who I was very much attracted to but the relationship failed due to her need to assert control over me, and my belief that my independence in not negotiable. So these roles and conflicts in them can indeed cross into the queer realm. and of course these are still generalisations - and that there are certainly assertive chinese women with both chinese and western men, just as there are certainly some western women with both western and chinese men. anyway - hope this contributes to the debate and gives everyone something more to think about. |
Shanghainese Girl Marrying Foreigners